revisiting happiness....

i start with the most toughest phase, so far, of my life,i.e my 12th board,the simple reason that i was unable to cope up with !i felt i was packed into a closed room with sooo many people,where we compete to stay  for the longest  time,the most capable gets out successfully!it was suffocating for me those entire 2 years!i looked forward to those 2 yrs with lot of fervour and enthusiasm,excitement,motivated,passionate to do something,but i had never foreseen that those 2 years would see a complete transformation in myself!
my enthusiasm was shattered within 2 days!ohh damn,there were people out there a thousand miles ahead of   me!
soon realisation struck me,that i was not even an ant before those scholars!i gradually started losing confidence in myself, i no longer felt motivated,i always felt dejected when compared with my much better off peers,seeing our professors biased towards students alleviated that feeling!i felt miserable,as if i was of no use!i didn't want to work harder,what was the use!i just wanted it to end!
i started losing interest in everything,unfortunately even in studies!
exams ended,with it ended the most anxiety filled journey!we had been relieved of that tough ordeal,
the holidays after the exams felt heavenly!this was the new beginning,a new phase of my life was to begin.....
after a lot of consensus,pharmacy was what i decided to do!
the year i joined pharmacy,it was as if God himself  awarded me time,time to do all those things that i missed doing in that fierce competition!
i realised that the reason for my disinterest in everything was lack of time!all i needed was just TIME,time for myself!!!
the desire to do something new,to explore,to do something different from the others started building up.
some incidents occured that year that rekindled some of my interests.i wanted to learn a musical instrument,
wanted to revisit my reading habit,wanted to pursue singing again!
i fulfilled all of these wishes!
Learning something new everyday gave me immense satisfaction!singing lifts your soul,makes you forget all your sorrows!playing a musical instrument perks you up.we are CREATING music ourselves,wow!its feels wonderful to see or hear something that you have created yourself!
i started reading books,by means of which i cud pass my time (that too fruitfully)
i was doing all that i hadn't even dreamt of!these activities definitely boosted my confidence,and gave me immense satisfaction!
i was now observing a  change in myself!however my day was,i was always happy at the end!
i was no longer dejected,i stopped comparing myself with my peers!
now was the time to gain maximum,learn maximum!i was now experiencing  true happiness,that time which i was in dire need of,for myself,that time which was impossible to find during my boards.Like childhood,where we are free of all worries,play and enjoy to the maximum,these activities rid me of all tension!
it was now that truely, i was revisiting my lost happiness.....